“She is here today.”
Women were whispering in the changing room. Some sounded really excited. I asked who they were talking about. One said to me, “Barbara Walters.”
It was 1999—it had only been a few years since I moved to New York City from Tokyo.1 At the time, the only “Barbara” I knew of was Barbara Streisand. I didn’t even know who Barbara Walters was. In the women’s changing room at the karate dojo, everyone was American.2 There were some Asians, but they were also Americans. It seemed that I was the only one who had never heard of Barbara Walters.
When I got out of the changing room and reached the mat, at first, I wasn’t sure which one of the women they were talking about. There were usually about ten people in a class, but more than fifteen were already on the mat that day. Besides, I saw some new faces that I had never seen before. Yet, I kind of knew which one they were talking about.
It was obvious because her hair was done like a TV anchor. She looked like she had just gone to a hair salon before the Karate class. No one else would look like that on the mat only to get it messed up. But it was possible that people thought of me the same way. I was probably the only one besides her wearing makeup on the mat. At the time, I was insecure with my bare skin with lots of acne.
Physical Contact
Towards the end of the class, there was usually a rotating one-on-one match for a few minutes each with about four people. There, I had an opportunity to spar with her. As soon as we faced each other, she said, “No face. No face.” I saw her well-taken-care-of skin and hair. I don’t remember what belt she had on, but it was either a white or black belt.
The belt color ranks for this dojo started with white, then blue, yellow, orange, green, brown, and black. I remember for sure her belt was not in color. It might have been black, but it could have been white. I cannot remember which one it was.
Mental Contact
I usually took the evening karate class because I was a night owl but most women were only able to take it in the evening because they had regular jobs. After the evening class, many women hurried into the shower. There were only three shower rooms in the women’s changing room, so usually, some people had to wait. I didn’t have school the next morning, so I let other people go ahead of me. I always took time to get dressed and prepare to leave. After taking a shower, I would fix my makeup before going outside. I had to take the train home to Brooklyn, so I didn’t want to look like I just got out of the shower.
When I was putting my makeup on, she came to the changing room still wearing her karate gi. She was chatting with people outside the changing room, waiting for everyone in the changing room to leave. I thought everyone, including her, had already left. She was also surprised to see me still preparing to leave.
She was friendly and started talking to me and asking questions. Many of her questions were the same as the ones I usually got from other people. “So, you came all the way here by yourself?” “What made you come here?” That was one of the most difficult questions to answer to a stranger at the time. I was a private person. She had a lot of questions for me, but for the most part, I had to question myself before answering her. Yet, she was very patient with me. Maybe she knew that some questions cannot be answered spontaneously. I’m certain that she knew that the longer she waited, the more accurate and clearer the answers could be.
The whole time we were talking, she did not look away. Even when I was silent, she was looking into my eyes. I was the kind of person who couldn’t look into a person’s eyes when I was talking. I felt that, without words, she was trying to read my mind.
If we were to sit together for an hour, I’m sure that she would have made me spit out what I had to say. Something I wouldn’t have even thought of saying might have come out. I would have been able to find out about myself by answering her questions. She was that type of person. It must have been better than a counseling session with a psychotherapist, who only listens and takes notes in a preoccupied manner. More I think about it now, even I can tell that she was a great interviewer.
Spiritual Contact
After a pause, she asked me if I was married. I immediately answered no. It was an easy question.
There was another pause moment, and she looked into my eyes for a long time. Since I got that question, I asked her the same question. She seemed as if she was waiting for me to ask her. She said her partner was an astronaut. I can’t remember if she said they were married. I’m pretty sure she said she wasn’t married to the astronaut. But then I wondered if he was away all the time. She said they don’t get to see each other very often. Yet, she looked fulfilled. She was young and lively. It would have been nice to talk about my love too, but I had not met my partner yet at the time.
I did not think about this episode for probably a decade. For many years, I thought nothing we talked about was memorable. However, to think of it now—how her eyes sparkled and how energetic her soul shined—it was certainly memorable. Some moments are something I am now able to appreciate as a grown woman. Therefore, I’m glad that I remember these moments. I was only 20 then, and her number must have been between my mother’s and my grandmother’s.
Soul and spirit only continue to grow; they never age.
That was my thought, when I was thinking about her recently.
♡ Rest in Peace: Ms. Barbara Walters (September 25, 1929–December 30, 2022) ♡
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1 It could have been 1998.
2 It was at the karate dojo for the World Oyama Karate, the Kyokushin karate led by Shigeru Oyama (1935–2016). It used to be on Sixth Avenue by the West 4th Street train station in Manhattan.